I really hate that I can't remember my dreams..I never can. Sometimes toward the end of the day something will happen that will trigger that I remember that I dram something but still I then only get parts of the dream and not the whole thing.

I woke up at around 5:30 because my daughter woke me up because she was thirsty, so I got up to get her water. I woke up and instantly knew what I had dram about and I even told myself that I needed to tell __________ what I dram because it was a good dream. So of course when I go back to sleep and wake back up at the appointed time, I don't remember what it was that I had a dream about and I don't even remember who I was going to tell about my dream!!!!! I was/am so mad!!

Something so simple....it just want to be able to remember!!!!!

Sometimes I'll tell my boyfriend my dream right when i wake up because I know that if I just let one more minute pass I'll forget what it was and it will be lost in the black hole of dreams.

It really is driving me crazy that I can't remember what it was!

God it sucks to come back to work after being on Vacation!!!

We spent a week in the Florida Keys. We had a great time! We went on the boat, My boyfriend, Dad, and brother went and caught some lobster, they went Spearfishing.....I layed out by the pool and got some sun and caught up on my reading.

It was the most relaxing vacation I have ever had!!

Here are some pics..

This is me and Alex

Here are some of the lobsters they caught.

Here is Alex and my brother catching lobsters.

This is my brother..he Speared these two HogFish.

Here I am posing with Alex's Speargun...according to him so that he can have his two babies in one picture!!!

For everyone that has asked..I am feeling 100% better. Thanks again to everyone for your concern....Especially you Busman.

I want to thank everyone that stopped by and left me comments. Special thanks to the busman who directed all of you to me. It really did help. I am feeling much better. It was great to see how many of you reached out to me at this sad time. I appreciate everyone's comments. I think I replied to everybody..If I didn't please forgive me. But I do want everyone to know that it was great to hear from all of you and I am thankful to have such great Streamers here with me. Again..lots of thanks.

Sometimes you ask yourself the age old question...Why me??, but it's just part of life..sometimes shit just happens. When u feel that the sun will finally shine on you, low and behold it doesn't!!
I had just found out a couple of weeks ago that I was pregnant..we were ecstatic, we had been planning it so we were definitely excited. I hadn't told anyone with the exception of my best friend, we wanted to wait for three months to make sure that everything was going to be ok..Thank god, because then I would now have to explain to everyone that I would have told that I had a miscarriage and lost the baby. It really is such a horrible feeling! I started spotting Friday night but tried not to think much of it..sometimes that just happens and its no big deal I would just try and take it easy and see what happens. So Sat we went to the beach with the kids, I got in the water only briefly, I was just taking it easy sitting on the beach chair reading a book. When we got home I realized that it had gotten a lot worse, it wasn't just some spotting..it turned into bleeding..so of course I freaked and immediately dropped my daughter off and headed to the emergency room..they did blood tests to determine what my hormone level was and told me to go home lay down and go back on Monday to retest to see if the levels had gone up or down..if they go up i'm still pregnant if they go down I lost the baby. So I went back yesterday to get retested and sure enough the levels had gone down. I was already prepared for that..I honestly had no hope..it was just too much blood for me to feel confident about the whole thing. But to have it confirmed just really sucked!! It's such a bad feeling..one that I can't even explain with just one word..I felt sad, lonely, lost, disoriented, my chest felt tight like if I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sleep. In a way it seemed unreal..It's like one of those things that happens to other people but you just don't think that it'll happen to you. I feel a little better now..still sad and of course Alex is sad too..wondering why this happened to us, but It's just a part of life..shit happens..we just have to try again and hope for the best!!

I'VE BEEN WONDERING LATELY IF I'M BEING SELFISH.. I HAVE SPOKEN TO MY UNCLE SINCE MY AUNT DIED TO MAKE SURE HE'S OK AND TO SEE HOW HE'S DOING. I HAVE NOT HOWEVER GONE TO THE HOUSE TO VISIT HIM. I PASSED BY MY GRANDFATHER'S HOUSE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO AND I HAD TOLD MY UNCLE THAT I WAS GOING OVER THERE AND SINCE HIS HOUSE IS AROUND THE CORNER I WOULD VISIT HIM..I DIDN'T GET TO BECAUSE HE WAS GETTING OUT OF WORK LATE. IN A WAY I WAS RELEIVED..I DON'T THINK I'M READY TO GO TO MY AUNT'S HOUSE. I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD HANDLE GOING INTO THE HOUSE KNOWING THAT SHE'S NO LONGER THERE AND SEEING THINGS DIFFERENT THAN HOW SHE HAD THEM.. IS THAT SELFISH OF ME?? I DON'T KNOW. BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK I'M READY....AM I WRONG FOR THAT???