Last night was one of the toughest nights I've had in a long time..I thought about you all day, Later on at home when I saw the picture of me and you together that I have on my fridge I got really sad. Alex tried to make me feel better and asked if there was something he could do but of course there isn't. Can he bring you back???? NO!! I'm not sure if the breakdown was due to the three Apple Martini's or just because it had been a while and i was due for the meltdown especially since work was so crazy. All I know is that I miss you and I don't think it's fair..I feel like I'm a little kid complaining about how life isn't fair..but really it isn't. You were still young with some much to live for but I guess like I tell Taylor..life isn't fair, that's just the way it is.

On a better note, I wish you could have met Alex, he is really good to me and treats me well..I know you would have liked him. Taylor is getting big, she just turned 4 and talks my ear off!!! It sucks that you won't see her grow up like you saw me grow up and you won't be able to spoil her like u did me..but then again there is more than enough people that spoil her!! I don't know how she does it but somehow she suckers every one in..Ok Tia...I gotta go..Love ya.

I came up with the idea to start this blog because of my Aunt. She just passed this December and I still can't believe it. I miss her so much. She was a major part of my life. I wanted a way to tell her things that are happening..this is how I figured I would do it. I'm sure I'll take advantage and post other things that I'm feeling and going through. So here starts my first blog:

Tia,
I miss u so much you have no idea..I still think that I can pick up the phone and spend hours on the phone with you how we used to do. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I think that this isn't fair..why you?? There is so many people here who still need you so much. Tio, Marilyn, Julissa..all the family that you know loved u so much. You always gave 100% of yourself, always went out of your way for your family. I will always be grateful for all the love you showed me. Guess what?? I made arroz con pollo the other day for the first time..It came out pretty decent. I thought about you and wished that I could have called you to tell you. I spoke to Tio and told him, I promised him that I would make it for him one day but we all know it won't come out as good as yours..You are the best cook I have ever known. I have to get back to work now but even though I cried while writing this just as I cry everytime I think about you, I feel better that I was at least able to write these things down and talk to you. I love you very much!!